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Monday, September 30, 2002 tt's it.... fed up liaoz fell down 4 times on e same cut Y? cuz of stoopid contact rugby well...... actually some mi fault 2 stoopid mi usually i think ppl stop moving after 8 ppl r on u lolz.... i survived tt wif onlee a scratch infected by mud n grass itchy sia mi recruitment drive working first intro them 2 war3 then tell them i can help them but sae easier if they use clan server rolf... tt meanz they muz join clan! but i not so jian.... aniwaez... mi gd frenz r wif mi now new frenz r gd old frenz r gd too, nvr changed...... but e bez frenz can nvr b beaten well.... 145.5 hrs 2 mug left... mug aboz 4 more hrs then go 2 sleep or i juz go 2 sleep n zhuang bing then i can convince mi mom i wuz studying until i fell sick i'm a great tactician for all e wrong things! tehgo walked into the light @ 9/30/2002 11:04:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 29, 2002 i'm leaving sth outta mi.... i dunno wad wish someone cud tell mi wish someone cud fully trust mi m i tt untrustworthy? or izzit bcuz ppl fear betrayal? i think n hope it's onlee e 2nd option anyone can change, onlee if they want 2 n tt they muz try 2 do so or get beaten b4 e battle sighz..... i try n make gd frenz wif danli n lam... as well as dc... hope i do they're good guys lemme rephrase tt they're gd frenz 2 b wif tehgo walked into the light @ 9/29/2002 08:25:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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it's true... now evryone juz saes... "if late bhante wuz here, he wun haf allowed this" or "if late bhante wuz here, he wud haf done this" sighz.... i'm starting 2 tear.... eyes so puffy.... memory is a blessing n a curse i wun rmb bad things, yet i wun rmb gd ones either i wun rmb, most of all, mi frenz whom i trust trust, 2 e extent of getting e worse for miself... y? i dunno... it'z juz in mi blood.... "Just remember you are not alone So don't you fear Even though you're miles away I'm by your side So open up your mind and close your eyes I'll be there for you no matter where you are" wad if u r more than juz miles apart?? mugging is getting 2 mi.... i'm doing evrything 2 forget forget evrything... hatred, grudges, shen zhi luv cherish frenshipz cuz they can last if u let it but opening up is a diff thing altogether... tt'z a q of trust... lolz mi thots haf been changing since mi first entry change of life... mebbe hu noez? not even i i'm missing out in life... i miss mi old frenz i miss mi freedom last time i miss mi grandfather i miss mi family's togetherness i miss mi new frenz i miss mi prev maid i miss mi "ah ma" i miss mi elder grand aunt i miss mi relatives i miss e times i had wif frenz i miss e times i din noe luv i miss e times i missed i miss mi "foster grampa" i miss mi old life i miss many ppl... i miss e fact tt i'm beginning 2 list a lot *sniff*...... *sobz* tehgo walked into the light @ 9/29/2002 08:13:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel. i dun think i'm stupid..... not emotionally at least..... blearh..... stoopid... i'm damn sian of mugging........ 8 hrs mug after 6 hrs of play...... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/29/2002 06:49:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Saturday, September 28, 2002
Which Weiß fashion victim are you? wad they mean by try dressing like someone of mi own gender!? do i cross dress!? DUN TINK SO! haish... left geog to mug 2nd time... chinese finished aboz 4 times liaoz... english.. read bk lorhz... LOTF n MOV read 3 times science gone n done 3-4 times... maths still muz buck up.... 5 times liaoz... still cannot drill into mi head... hist iz simple... mi fav topic... warfare n post warfare... including e past tehgo walked into the light @ 9/28/2002 10:42:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 27, 2002  Do you give a fuck? This quiz style was designed by alanna, adapted by Batfish Designs, and created by Missanthropy. hehez... mebbe it's bcuz i watched 2 much care bears n land b4 time part 1 when i wuz like 3-5 yrs old tehgo walked into the light @ 9/27/2002 03:56:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Thursday, September 26, 2002 pro-ness... e wae i spend money i'm gonna b broke b4 kyushu.... no waki-zashi or katana.... *sobz* well... sighz... muz save now... cannot go out 2 often liaoz... can't damn mug at all.... unless at magic hr... 12-3 am... either i mug n reeli absorb, or i sleep in klaz n on e bus... mug? dun mug? mug? dun mug? i think i shan't... too sleepy after lanning n mugging at starbucks wif danli, lau dings, his bro, yam n dc bleargh... i din reeli mug, wuz gonna do jap occ... then suddenly i wrote aboz ww2 invasion... then i started sketching mi own stuff... so much for mindmaps.... oh yes!!!! 2ml e tux opens!!! sighz... got hist n geog remedial too summore both same time... crazee teachers either i go for geog n get called up by doreen lim, or i go for hist n get screwed by heng tang tang and tan er min.... dilemma... i wunder which is stronger? mi left or right arm? i think right, altho left iz much longer, like 3 cm mi right leg feels funny.... wad if i get cancer n bcome waileong!!!??? aaaaahhhhhhhh... damn gary.. play wif his monkey, make it lose a leg draw some cape n mask 2 look like mojo jojo... n name it tehjo jojo... but nvm, i still happy... last wk of PE n we get 2 go for contact rugby!!! shit... kena yelled at n called out by 4 teachers in a row 2dae... but of cos i end up unconsciously giving mi reeli sorrie look.... then e teachers softened up n forgave mi roflmao... i sound so jian i-sa think-ings a lot-ings tonite-ings... sleep aint tt impt... i tink i'll gif up mugging can't understand damn algebraic questions some can... a few cannot esp quadratic graphs... sighz... a lot is going thru mi head.... dunno whether i'll end up hafing a fever again 2ml been there since e start of psle 37.6 degrees i can't not care... i'm a teja... tejas care i think... but aniwae i seem 2 end fights damn fast... juz by saeing "u wanna fight u fight mi first" but of cos... i damn pissed at upper sec... drink water also take more than half e pitch in e end soccer so crowded... at least i help save aboz 6 goal attempts 2dae.... out of 10+ blogging is e onli wae for mi 2 end mi brooding over some stuff... n i hate mi typos i wanna try wrestling... someone sae 2M morning alwaes got... i shalt go therest 2ml... go n chou4 re4 nao4 tehgo walked into the light @ 9/26/2002 11:24:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Wednesday, September 25, 2002 wowz... i juz spent $100 to buy 2 more war3... well... aniwaez... got KYUSHU TRIP coming up!!! go to japan!!! yayz... onli prob iz.... it's a science trip... but nvm, i managed 2 buy weapons on sch trips... so mebbe can get a katana or waki-zashi or 2 of each but... i think i'll lay off blogging n trying 2 care for a while... since i dun think anione needs mi 2 care... so i dun care! well... watching charmed... like e efefcts n storyline, not e galz... but later sleep n go 2 sch againz... juz waiting for EOY 2 go... sighz... i making close frenz now... as close as mi n daryl... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/25/2002 10:33:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 take free enneagram test tehgo walked into the light @ 9/25/2002 05:58:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002  Take the Purrsonality Quiz! i think too much frenship liaoz.... like... all 3 r frenship-ish tehgo walked into the light @ 9/24/2002 07:31:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Which Magic Stone are you? by. Xera turqoise... e stone of frenship? lolz... b wif mi frenz... dun leave mi... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/24/2002 07:28:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Which Archangel are you? by Xera raphael.... e angel of healing... come 2 mi... but no one ever does... cuz ppl r too scared of betrayal... trust mi... i noe... i knew... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/24/2002 07:25:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Monday, September 23, 2002 juz checking out some blogz n stuff... i'm starting 2 think againz... i mean a lot wushu, kendo, aikido, taekwando, judo, budo, jujitsu, ninjitsu (s'pore somewhere got!) so many... yet i onli tried 5 b4... onli continuing wif aikido... sianz man... got nuthin betta 2 do... might as well search for more stuff 2 fill mi life i noez! i join kendo wif mi cuzzie afta xams! then song song go his house n play same time haiz... u muz b thinking... teja's a stupid fuckhead(quote Gan) for wanting 2 try all out well... if i got e strength, do larhz, summore then i can protect mi frenz betta sounds so fantastic rite? like, as if i wud protect mi frenz. i feel so sad if u think tt wae... quote Heng Tang Tang, "A born loser is one hu intends 2 fart but shits instead" as if i m trying 2 protect mi frenz but end up killing them... i feel damn useless... can do anithing for nutz... mebbe Gan n Hoon r rite... i'm a fuckhead, tt can't do a shit i wunder if i weren't born, wud e world b happier wif out mi? m seems tt wae... roflmao... then wad m i doing here? wad is mi mission in life? now's not a gd time for mi 2 get pissed... too much subs 2 mug... if i get pissed... no time 2 mug, onli 2 get outta trouble i feel as if it's pms... haha.... a guy wif pms.... bleargh phrasing it wrongly... but still... i can onli b peaceful alone now jovial wif frenz, but at e same time, a time-bomb waiting 2 explode juz tt dae, i kicked e whole lot of 5 tables 2wards joey... i dun think anithing short of a car collision n gun shot will stop mi pain n sorrow r inborn in mi, i'm a sponge 2 soak tt up mi bruises heal fast, a simple ripping off of kneecap skin can b healed in 3-5 daez but mi sorrow nvr heals... juz tt more sorrow will get rid of it e matters of e heart can nvr b simple enuff 2 b understood wish u cud juz let up, get rid of ur sorrow n b happy can't stand another bsides mi being unhappy... cuz i'm a lonely phoenix full of bull wanting 2 make frenships tt last... forever........... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/23/2002 11:10:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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HanMeow as well... hehz... even Lam too... well.... this juz brings up mi happiness... dun wanna rmb mi sadness but of cos... there wuz a let down or 2 lulling miself 2 sleep din werk... i slept at 3+ onli after sobbing alot then i tossed arnd until mi face wuz in mi pillow n i passed out... i'm full of bull a phoenix... a keen sense of magic n can b summoned by any wizard izzat interpreted as frenz? i dun think tt wud b teachers... i'd fly if i had wings... i've nvr felt steady wifout at least 1 foot on e grnd stars r there 2 gaze at... astrology is complex... but try not 2 blieve in em too much... it'll change u frm a bubbly, carefree little kid 2 a worried ol' granma hahaz...i sound so old already, forgetting so much simple stuff reeli feling damn blur... hahaz... i zone out during xams! ppl count on frenz for support, but when they go... u muz change too our hearts r so fragile it can shatter within seconds... literally our lives can juz go bust but we haf frenz we can count on, yet they wud oso lyk us 2 help ourselves cuz then they can go wif a peace of mind tt's e bez aboz frenz... i'd luv n befren, but i'll nvr betray cuz tt's e onli thing i m bez at, nvr gd @ studies n such, but i care bcuz this world needs e care of all of us, or we wun b able 2 survive anione needa tell mi anything i'll b there ji shi it's aboz mi, say it, or i'll nvr change i can kill anione, yet i dun wanna harm mi frenz at all... mebbe a playful slap on e back or chest, but nothing serious i meanz, if i were vengeful, DanLi wud haf been maimed... since he kicked mi *there* e spot of endless pain since young no i dun mean mi crotch, i mean mi back =p tehgo walked into the light @ 9/23/2002 10:48:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 22, 2002 "In this world when life can be so tough You must be strong Just believe in yourself and don't you fear So open up your mind and close your eyes Take another look from the other side" "Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara Look inside yourself kagayaki ga aru kara Yes, subete shinjite hoshii You can take another look from the other side" - chorus "Just remember you are not alone So don't you fear Even though you're miles away I'm by your side So open up your mind and close your eyes I'll be there for you no matter where you are" excerpts frm Saiyuki's Open Up Your Mind i juz wanna sae... for those ppl out there hu feel zi bei or sth liddat dun, cuz u'll alwaes haf sth special in u n tt, there will alwaez b someone out there looking out for u... supporting u, even if u din noe it... tt is e power of life n frenship...... (this is wad i call thinking too much n starting 2 write crap!) tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 09:01:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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You can take the McDonalds Product Test by Matio64 here! i interpret e sauce part as frenz... i mean, tt's wad i think at least... loved by most? i dunno... hafta ask u ppl rite? tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 08:54:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 What fantasy creature are you? Find out Here roflmao... i thot i alwaes wuz a dragon... now tt's lame... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 08:50:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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like a pearl in e sky... frm mi cuz home i cud c it even until 3.30am... after i finished playing ps2 n com so silent... so peaceful... so serene... n then some blardie car horn e whole way spoil e luvlie image... bast....... butthen, i juz like, shut off frm mi pain... i juz stared... n then i fell asleep! sighz... little frenz r damn cute esp if they act n tok cute, like pong n matt, as well as alex hahaz tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 08:48:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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n wifout specs... summore act e same.... 1 diff.... alex is in aikido, not in ri matt is in ri, not aikido... n he ain't 11 betta yetz... alex is same rank as mi! damn... muz buck up... hahaz... they r like twins! tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 06:47:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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tehgo walked into the light @ 9/22/2002 06:45:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 20, 2002 dammit... it's starting 2 resurface.... few wks ago... some shit bumped into mi sae i bump him or sth liddat... got some smaller ppl arnd him, n mi cousins were wif mi they are a wee bit shorter than mi, but 1 is 16 the other 17 so i quite heng... but duh... we 3 all same belt liaoz.... tt shit punched mi in e back... nutcase... i turned arnd n gave him a backfist... then he ran 2wards mi like a charge somehow, i felt weird n fell 2 mi right... he ended up in e middle of e road opposite Novena square... damn loser.... summore got stuck there for like 15 mins, since e cars were fast-flowing.... ok, enuff of tt... 2dae wuz a 'orrible dae... i nearly did a 2-footer in2 gary's face.... stoopid grp for pe, dun catch ball properly... mark oso cannot mark properly... wad kinda loser rugby izzat? then like eddy push mi in e chest, nvm then william whilst tackling him, summor can complain n send off william... tahaningz... not reeli pissed... 2 tries n we missed e chance cuz william screwed up, as well as zhongmin... pissed.... now time for scrum since we they drop ball mi n gary both beegbeeg n we hook e ball ball go outta scrum, i stop pushing gary continued, pushed mi down, i swore (u noe) twice juz b4 i took aim for his face n kicked wif both legs upwards... i almost entered no man's land... i stopped juz b4 his face... so bloody sorrie... din noe how i ended up like this... gd frenz last forever... making fun of mi is his hobby... i'm juz trying 2 tahan... LCH is a bitch... say wad, dun hand up chinese compo n letter i gif u 0 for both of them... 25% of 25% of 15% is 0.6%, 10% of 25% of 15% iz like, 0.3-0.2%... beeg deal... loooooooser tehgo walked into the light @ 9/20/2002 09:01:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley sai... dis wuz mi 1st choice selected by e server.... btw... sorrie gary, i wuz kinda pissed wif mi grp as well as eddy sorrie i tried 2 kick u in e face... reeli sorrie.... i juz... popped? tehgo walked into the light @ 9/20/2002 04:22:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Thursday, September 19, 2002  i had my niche. intelligent. creative. or artistic. what kind of child were you? (brought you by april) haiz.... it's his hundredth dae... i can go off mi veg diet liaoz... but... i think i'm still bound... by e chains of attachment.... i wonder... no matter how i change or lose weight, will she ever like mi?? aiz.... summore now muz finish all mi late werk by 2ml.... sai... there's a nice 2cm thick pile waiting for mi.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/19/2002 08:46:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Wednesday, September 18, 2002 chains boundst mi.... thou avoidst mi..... frenz misinterpret mi.... quote cedric "teja so cool".... cool? wad's so cool aboz being alone n sad? stoopid joey, sonofagun... summore can put his swaety arm on mi bottle mouthpiece.... 99 days are gone, 2ml 100th dae after his going... no sch for mi.... but it's still sad... hahaz.... i'm trying 2 lose weight, but evrything 2 lite 2 lift liaoz.... soccer is for fun as well, but running on e track juz discourages mi.... haish... i'm losing weight, nvr thot i wud for someone... but i wanna fight again... not live in "peace".... sighz... mi heart is bound in chains of e past.... scarred by e past as well.... *sobz* tehgo walked into the light @ 9/18/2002 09:01:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 What Pattern Are You? strong... well..... yeah... for e cohort... determined? depends larhz.... well ok.... tough... like wad? a wall? then yes.... tolerant, no... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/18/2002 08:15:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Monday, September 16, 2002 uh ohz.... i starting 2 lose control.... i've been getting pissed so lately... i dun reeli care wad happens 2 mi frenz now... y??? sighz.... stopped breathing like 50 over times during mi 3-n-a-half hr tuition juz now... so prone 2 stopping... evrything... sighz... believe in ur frenz... nvr stop... once u do... they wun b there... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/16/2002 10:40:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 15, 2002 yipes.... i think mi brain's gonna overload... i've been thinking so much last nite, i dreamt aboz lots of weird stuff.... like... afghanistan... n i wuz fighting n then i saw mi frenz... true frenz... frenz i trust... sighz.... ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ horoscopes r for e superstitious e superstitious r either lacking self-confidence or r too self-conscious... i'm both... but i dun blieve in horoscopes.... i blieve in mi frenz... e only thing i noe i can trust.... frenship is sacred... not sex as sed by tt tchs guy.... we can make frenz, n live together side by side with them. tt's y we aren't classified as animals... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/15/2002 08:13:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i think itz useless if u keep saying that u like her HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: and u cant even open up to her HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: itz like u dun even trust her nvr thot of it tt wae... sorrie... reeli reeli sorrie... i juz thot tt i mite bcome a burden... *sobz* tehgo walked into the light @ 9/15/2002 12:12:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Saturday, September 14, 2002 HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: and why dun u open up to her? HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: i think it'll make her feel betta u kno... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: as in like HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: u see,... like when u kno ur helping someone by just listening HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: u feel happy... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: like this warm glow inside or sth.. »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU says: yea... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: im sure she feels that way too... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU says: mebbe.... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: and tho she doesnt say it... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: i think.... not sure... but i think HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: that she feels a little upset, maybe even hurt.... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: cuz u dun open up to her... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: but to me HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: u kno wat i mean right? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU says: ohz.... hmmmz.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU says: yeah HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: so try and tell her some things k? HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: it'll help her forget her troubles for awhile...i hope... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU says: yea.... juz mite HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: i alwayz thot shez damn sad and secretive HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: but i didnt dare pester her to open up... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: scared she get angry with me... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: maybe i shld have last time.... haiz HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> *sob* says: so regretful sai... now i noe... wad it means when they sae,"gurlz noe themselvez bez" sooo ******* blur.... i dun realise wad's going arnd mi.... i think i can juz drop a beeg vase onto mi head frm 5 storeys up, goto hosp then feel pain.... tt pooh thingie iz rite.... i'm slow, not a bit... i'm damn slow... sheesh tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 11:11:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz! pooh's cute, a bit gullible at times... tt's mi... too bloody ******* trusting... tigger's a bit rash yet fun-loving.... piglet is soooo cute.... very cautious, a bit overboard... i think eeyore's e bez, wise, yet humble.... a true wise man... i mean donkey... or toy tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 11:03:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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kz... can i ask u a serious question? it's not those kinda questions tt when ppl sian then ask *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: kiez.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: y u think i'll b happier wif jw? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cos u can talk to her... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: so?? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: wait... wad u mean by tok 2 her »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: ? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: so... u can connect wif her.... then u'll feel betta n thus happier.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: .... now i dun get u... wad has feeling better n connecting got 2 do wif liking someone? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: erm....darno....ttz wat i think lorz... cos if u can connect with tt person.... then tt person can probably take ur problemz away...i think...i guess.....? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: ............. »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: but wad u think if u dun wanna burden e other person wif ur probz if tt person already has enuff probz? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: ? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: so r u sayin' tt jw doesnt have probz of her own? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: no »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i mean... no she has probz of her own but she kinda.... pestered mi for like, 20 mins... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: pestered u aboz wat? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: kept asking mi 2 tell her aboz... sth u dun wanna noe *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i do..... u juz neva wanted to open up to mi... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: nahz... cuz u seemed 2 haf enuff probz of ur own.... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: even if i had... i listen wanna listen.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: u listen wanna listen??? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: yeah.... y nort? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: no... i meant i dun get tt phrase *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: meanz yah..... unless u dun wanna tell.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i juz think tt if a person reeli dun wanna share his/her probz n even if i did wanna share mine... it's like a burden 2 tt person *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: y dun u juz share urz? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i dun like being a burden 2 anione *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i didnt sae u were one did i? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: mi probz r a beeg burden... n tt i juz dun wanna burden anione else wif them unless they r willing 2 tell mi one of theirs *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i cant tell..... im a goddamn pisces.... we have a prob. openin' up.... n itz true 4 mi.... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cld u juz tell w/o xchangin'? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: tt's juz mi prob as a taurus... i gif (muz b sth gd) b4 taking... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: otherwise i'll continue 2 brood aboz tt incident for yrs *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: bleugh »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i tried tt once... in a longlong time ago... like pri 1 or sth... i took nothing serious then... now it comes back 2 mi »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: y bleugh? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cuz i ddun get to noe.....? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: oh... hehez... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: well... it's juz like how u dun let up... but y dun u? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: juz cant.... i wanna sae but cannot... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: so i cry myself to sleep...somtimez *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: but nobody noes it but mi.... bleugh »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: izzit bcuz u got betrayed b4? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: yesh.... but tt aint the reason..... juz cant seem to..... sad isnt it »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: can u juz try? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: pls? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cant »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: y....... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: now i starting to feel sad.... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: y? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: bcuz i noe wad's it's like if u can't let up *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: u shdnt feel sad.... it aint u newae... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i live on frenship.... i alwaes feel sad whenever mi frenz aren't happy »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: sth simple? can tell mi? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: no..... itz not tt simple... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: as in... anything reeli not tt shut in.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: if u dun let up... it'll b quite painful... at least it wuz for mi *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: im so sorrie k? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: u din do anything wrong »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: *heart pain*.... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i dun like neone so feel bad cuz of me.... tt iz considered as doin' sth wrong to me....so i said sorrie lorz...... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: it's juz mi... i mean... whilst zul n mi fren kena caning... i wuz trembling so badly tt it looked so obvious i wuz trembling »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: it's like wad i wrote once in mi blog... i can share ppl's happiness n sorrows, n they acn share mi happiness, but hardly ever share mi sorrows.... cuz i dun gif them tt »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: sounds stoopid rite? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: no... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: can u ever describe y u can't let up? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: no..... so i juz sae i cant »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: not even a vague description? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: wait »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: i dun mean 2 piss u off here »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: hmmz.... methinks writing a private diary mite help... do u think so? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: no.... cuz i'll onlee rip it »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: y *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cuz i'll..... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: u'll wad? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: cuz i will.... ttz y »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: u reeli sound damn sad.... i'm sad too... alotta sad things happend 2 many frenz 2dae.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: sighz *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: sigh..... poor pple.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: u r one of them »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: roflmao.... i juz realised it sounds so suspicious n vicious... "u r one of them" hahaz... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: heh »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: then how u make urself foregt wad bad things happend if u can't let up? (i nearly wanted 2 ask, how r u now, n wad r u doing now ) *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: gosh....plz dun ask mi.... *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i juz do...... 4 a while... then comes back when im all alone »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: ohz... juz like.... plp hu dun let up often... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: *ppl »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: but then dun u ever feel tt one dae u shud get rid of it all? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: mebbe... does it alwaes haf 2 get 2 mi? whenever someone gets hurt, i feel sad, hurt too.... i can still rmb, i trembled like as if i were in a subzero temperature rm.... so saddening... n i feel it too.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 06:32:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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c lorhz... i juz want frenz... i hate saturdays n sundays... whenever i think too much... i shut down... clouds r beautiful... so r stars... it's so lame i go sch earlier 2 star-gaze... otherwise while playing a beeg game of soccer... i lie own n watch e clouds whilst defending... i want a conversation cuz i dun reeli feel alive if i were 2 stay alone... thought rush.... shutting down tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 05:07:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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sigh.... the weather iz nice... wet. rainy. beautiful i alwayz felt like cryin' when i see the rain. strange? actually... i think most pple feel tt way too... the rain has some hold over pple i guess... hahaz... i juz suddenly realised... i dun feel sad when it rains.... i'm kinda happy too... diff views... dun care... i think e rain brings sadness 2 those hu r already sad... but if a person thinks aboz true, pure rain... it's happy 2 think tt this rain brings life... water is e source of all life... wow.... i juz stared blank into a sparrow... took so long for mi 2 realise, those beeg brown spots below it's eyes aren't surrounding its true eyes... back 2 e rain... i can smell it coming... tt sounds damn crazy, but yea... i can tell b4 e rain hits... approx when it will... but i'm a taurus... i thot pisceans shud prefer rain... guess not... 2 mi, e rain washes mi sorrows away, n it cleanses e world arnd mi... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 04:42:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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»~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: haish.... how's sch? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: okiez.... y do u like to ask ques. like hows this hows tt... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: it's juz mi... i ask these things.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: so... how's it? *¨°º MåRîªÑ º°¨*¨ - uncertainty iz beautiful says: i said okiez.... didnt i? »~*¤TëH¤*~« JuZ wAnNA b wiF U fOrEVeR AiShiTE'rU (Someone pls tell mi wad Judges VII:2-7's verse means) says: ohz.... hehez... i thot tt wuz part of e question, like, "ok, now wad?" blur... sheesh... losing mi touch... like a blade losing its brilliance... voicing out opinions is impt... gettign e courage 2 do it is more impt... looking straight into an older person like a teacher has this kinda hold on mi... like i can't speak back... u noez... invisble barrier... juz like how i dun wanna injure mi frenz... unless it wuz by accident... dammit... i'm a coward.... i seem so... so sigh-ful(?) todae.... sighz... ppl still dun understand tt cash n power dun rule this world... its e power of luv n compassion tt does... i've survived many a time a dog bite... wasp sting... n blablablah... cuz i din wanna hurt them... Y? beeg question tt i dun even noe... i kena whack alotta times... y? cuz i dun like e idea of others getting hurt... ~? now i'm so blank... expressionless... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 04:35:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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sianz... onli bad side of being colin cheong's student... otherwise damn slack... sth's wrong wif mi blog... damn long on e sides... i dun mean fat... it's tt e scripting sth wrong... sighz... xams coming... evryone mugging... xcept mi... evryone now so bz cannot lan... arcade go on weekly basis... i feel like breaking sth... then again... i feel so tired of life... they sae tt ppl usually laff away their sorrows... i laff mi sorrows away... yet they come back 2 mi once i'm thinking aboz.... nothing... i juz think... e thinker... bleargh... more like e soulless... hehez... got 2 little canines dogging mi... one wants mi 2 play wif him... fetch... another juz wanna sleep behind mi roller chair.... later kena roll over e tail then u noe.... hahaz... they're adorable... makes mi forget evrything... haz... including hw... oops... ahh... heart pain... literally n figuratively.... oww... sighz... they're coming back now... another secret i wanna tell now... i practice aikido, n i'm a black belt... chei... tt's no secret... lame... okok... it's tt... i can't stop thinking aboz m... deep down... i'm very shy n uncertain... topside... i look very determined n i noe wad 2 do... ???? now i'm tokking 2 miself.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2002 04:24:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 13, 2002 hahaz... one side of mi wants 2 retain mi present state.... another side wants mi 2 bring out mi previous, unknown state... i wanna fite... yet i wanna care... i wanna b alone... yet i want frenz 2 b wif.... later i end up like jim carey's character in mi, miself n irene.... one si buay violent n e other bcomes damn frenly... fridae e 13.... come get mi! =P sighz.... i came so close 2 hitting chee bai... n now mi sis is trying 2 make mi go 2 sleep.... shit... nitez world... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/13/2002 11:21:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Like you're being surrounded by a deep, endless darkness... Yes, it was your sweet voice calling my name that saved me from despair when I stood at the cliff's edge. Let's become one, holding each other so that the two crosses we bear become one. An astonishing light runs through my fingers, my body, my soul... The awakening dawn wraps around both of us, and I vow: Just I wanna be with you forever. I love you. Fate tests us, but I'll put my hand to my chest & make the sign of the cross We won't be separated: Cross my heart I've found a love that I would risk my life to keep. I finally know why I had to live a life tainted with loneliness Holding each other gently, as if in prayer... I'll leave my love behind within you. My love pours forth endlessly for your eyes, for your skin, for your warmth. Just whisper that you wish the passing time would stop. Just I wanna be with you forever. I feel you. If you can love someone so much, there's nothing to regret, even if you die. I won't let you go: Cross my heart. Let all that we are become one, so that the two crosses we bear become one. An astonishing light runs through my fingers, my body, my soul... The awakening dawn wraps around both of us, and I vow: Just I wanna be with you forever. I love you. Fate tests us, but I'll put my hand to my chest and make the sign of the cross We won't be separated: Cross my heart. reeli great song... esp in jap... sadz.... hahaz... i'm so sad i'm laffing at miself... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/13/2002 10:10:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i feel as if i wanna start a fight.... siaoz... crazy teja... nothin' betta 2 do 'zzit? haish.... but at e same time... i feel damn happy... kind for no reason as well... hahaz.... it's like... i saw a beeg wasp yest'dae... in e buz... i went 2 catch it n set it free... i din squash it... hahaz.... teja e kind kid... not likely... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/13/2002 09:38:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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blue?? wildness?? wild mebbe wild animal.... hahaz... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/13/2002 08:23:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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haish... dun wanna spoil mi gd mood (which is draining damn fast cuz i had 2 retype this twice) v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v mi n minghan met wun lao shi 2dae! we sorta told her how we wanted her back so bad tt we were writing a petition 2 get rid of chee bai.... we were chatting wif her for aboz a half-hour, n then we saw ZC n caught hold of him... later nick came along nick thot we were getting scolded... hahaz... we juz told him she wuz our ex-CL teacher... later on we went back 2gether n talked aboz how loony chee bai is =p v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v colin cheong is a perverted shit... he told us aboz sex 2dae... includes gay n lez... worse... he told us aboz snow white n e 7 perverts... e RA version of snow white... then he wuz telling some dirty jokes in claz.... damn lame.... but much better than mardi... v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v mi? influential? i nvr thot so... but it seems so... i can persuade someone 2 go wif mi?? yeah.... now i wonder.... y then? i could even persuade Sin Chee 2 try 2 play war3.... summore he usually plays FPSs... v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v something's stopping mi frm being happy... izzit bcuz she dun lyk mi? no... more like not sure..... sth... mi frenz' well being? wad's tt gotta do wif mi being happy? or izzit cuz i can't let up? wish i can... v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v~v i luv m... i luv u... i luv mi frenz... i luv e animals of e world... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/13/2002 05:45:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Thursday, September 12, 2002  You're a kind hearted person deep down but on the outside it doesn't really show. You don't have much confidence in yourself and you're ashamed of who you are... Cheer Up! zai manz... now i'm a troll... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 11:15:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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tt's rite... i've alwaes been hurt in frenships cuz i rely too much on frenz... not tt i make use of them... i juz wanna b wif them... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 11:11:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 'What kind of Wing are you?' by. Xera mishtake... it's dis one... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 11:05:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 'What kind of Wing are you?' by. Xera faerie wings? i dun even noe y i wanna do this... mebbe cuz 2nite i too sianz... michelle is weird.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 11:04:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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kena sai... it sounds damn bad... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 10:59:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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amazing... dun believe this... high attention span? yea... when i do gif mi attention... hahaz tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2002 10:46:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Wednesday, September 11, 2002 belief, faith n trust in a frenship is of utmost importance.... at least tt's wad i think... tt's a genuine frenship... not like some greedy shits hu cling 2 u for $$$(i'm not implying anithing) if u dun believe tt anything will happen, it wun.... if u haf no faith in urself or ur fren... y r u 2 frenz in e first place? if u haf no trust, tt cud nvr ever b a frenship tt lasts... tt's wad i wish 2 haf most... i can believe, trust n haf faith in 9 ppl, including robbie-liam frm NZ in mi whole life... bcuz evrytime i bcome too trusting, i'll get betrayed.... tt happens all e time, n i mean literally... waileong n gary think itz so fun 2 put mi down.... i'm reeli hurt... itz worse than betrayal cuz now i got no reason 2 hate them.... i juz do.... i try 2 make frenz wif anyone i meet, hell, i even tried for joey.... but i gave up after 6 times... i alwaes gif up after 6 times.... 666.... e devil's no. ... haz.... i dun believe.... "teja u fat!" tt one true mahz... but sth like this hurts e most..... "oh no! it's teja again!".... i'm crying as i'm typing.... hahaz.... ren dou ren bu xia le.... it's amazin' how many frenz i haf n yet i feel so lonely.... it's not like they dun hang out wif mi or vice versa... but rather... they're like juz frenz... not close at all.... somehow horz... i end up tokking 2 gurlz a lot now.... change? nahz... more like... i'm trying 2 find ppl hu understand.... n tt's definitely not mi ri schmates... ~ back 2 another topic... i think i gonna type a lot 2nite... charles is alwaes nutz... trying 2 topple mi.... daniel li is damn cute... no, tt does not mean i'm gay i meant his actions, like drama kinda thing? u juz needa sae, u act like a girl, then he'll purposely act like one... i'm writing this cuz i dun haf a diary, since i'm too messy n bz 2 write in a diary ppl sae tt ppl hu write diaries or e-diaries r more thotful.... mebbe.... michelle is diff for a girl... she plays games tt guys plae no, this isn't a sexist remark. i juz mean games like warcraft 3 which gurls dunno y guys like it so much... shijun is cute cuz... she's cute? arhz... dunno how 2 describe... no, i dun haf tt kinda like for her... haish... 2ml got PE... rugby againz... so sianz... y cudn't we haf like boxing or sth? no... i'm starting 2 lose mi mind... n i mean it i can't concentrate.... ok... now seems a bit better.... she thinks i'm better off wif jw... or happier.... i dun think so... cuz... i like her... but nonetheless it hurts if she sez tt... cuz it juz means she dunno wad i feel... aboz her... i think mi life is reaching e limit... it may juz crumble anytime ~ 2 faces.... 2 diff personas.... at home... i hate mi family.... at sch... i like being wif mi frenz... even tho we disturb each other... we stick together.... at home... i get bullied... i wuz so pissed i ended up trying 2 burn a dead part of a plant at home... i wonder how e plant is doing now? sorrie plant.... i'm scaring miself... i'm feeling a lot of rage... n i can hardly control it.... i hope tt tonite after typing so much i can cool off a bit.... not werking yet.... i wish someone will end mi misery.... mercy killing wud oso b appreciated... i feel so tired out trying 2 cope @ home tt i haf hardly enuff time 2 do hw.... i can't fight mi frenz... i dun even wanna harm them... i noe i do sometimes... but i'd rather not hit tt hard either... jun zi yong kou bu dong shou... so tt meanz i not gentlemanly lorhz... kz... tired out.... nitez all... including mi brain... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/11/2002 10:59:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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we met david there... tt wuz after we ate n were aboz 2 go back 2 sch n play soccer... i felt too sian n since ming was pestering mi so much so i went back wif him..... sighz.... wad m i supposed 2 do? fight n get mi old self back? or get e ancient side of mi... when i wuz kind n helpful, unlike now... part of both... "i'll fight teja if i reeli haf 2" - daniel lam.... he's a rugger... but wad i wuz wondering wuz tt if it were mi... wud i fight him? no... i've decided... ji shi i cannot b as close 2 mi family as i once wuz... i'll stick wif mi frenz... i mean, being e youngest... mi whole family may most likely outlive mi... jennie wuz being sick during lunch... he wuz saying some disgusting shit... yam wuz talking 2 mi aboz war3... michelle... i think i need u........ to return mi mi war3(hahaz... thot of sth diff rite?) CS owes mi 12 bucks... stoopid chicken.... ppl alwaes sae they r hurt when we make fun of them.... i'm not hurt lorhz... i enjoy being called wad i'm not... i feel like crying.... even tho i'm a guy.... s'pposed 2 only bleed n nvr cry... if i dun bleed then how? mebbe i can make lasting frenshipz... but tt's only bcuz i stick 2 hu i haf now as frenz... i nvr go out like m n e others... sunday sch in temple not much diff... only mi n mi cuzzies r close 2 same age... all e rest r still restricted by parents.... my god.... can't believe i wuz liddat once ri is stuck wif being ri... cat high isn't tt close unlike tchs n ny, or rg n orchard... ri is a solitary place... dammit i feel sick of this.... methinks next time i'll b alone for e rest of mi life... change of mind liaoz... i go sleep early... btw, y u suddenly sms mi during class? u no sch mehz? mine wuz bcuz it wuz a slack lesson, history is alwaes slack wif doreen lim i can kneel on e grnd for 25 mins in front of her since i no chair then she realise... loser... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/11/2002 09:09:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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2dae i truely thinking more than usual... i hate it when ppl touch mi head... ok... i'll juz hit anyone hu touches mi head... i'm gonna go nutz... mi op is during mi holz!! y not juz after xams!?!?! haish.... hmmz.... atm card working horz... now all i gotta do is save... then i can get mi ps2... ah f... dun feel like playing animore... this dun sound like mi... i'm a mad gamer... s'pposedly... then it hurts.... she thinks i'd b happier wif jw... bleargh... no, not tt i dislike jw... i juz dun like her in tt kind of way... i dun get this world animore... ppl can make fun of mi.... but i can't do e same.... still... hate sec 3s... we play 1/2-way they anyhow join... now some bastard ram mi in mi thigh... damn pain... shoulder oso bcuz i blurblur walk into e corner of a wall... i think mi mind is shutting down... i'm not thinking at all... i'm falling asleep in class... but i can understand wad e teacher is teaching!? tsktsktsk... u're going crazy boy... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/11/2002 08:54:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Symbol: The Bull Ruling Planet: Venus Element: Earth Cross/Quality: Fixed Group: Emotional House Ruled: Second Polarity: Negative Opposite Sign: Scorpio Favorable Colors: Green & Brown Lucky Gem: Emerald Key Body Part: Neck/ Throat Period: April 20 - May 20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basic Profile: conservative, sensible, responsible, meticulous, artistic, loyal consistent, dependable, generous, physically strong, sexual, but can be rigid, stubborn, selfish, suspicious, hot-tempered -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Famous Taureans: Audrey Hepburn, Charlotte Bronte, Cher, Frank Capra, Bono, Billy Joel, Michelle Pfeiffer, Barbra Streisand, Benjamin Spock, Sigmund Freud, Katharine Hepburn, Stevie Wonder, Jerry Seinfeld, Queen Elizabeth II, Bing Crosby, Candice Bergen, William Shakespeare, Adolf Hitler wow.... hitler e man!! omg... no wonder... now i c tt pisceans n aquarians r of diff. polarity... sorrie.... but istill think u can make it... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/11/2002 04:27:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Symbol: The Fish Ruling Planet: Neptune/ Jupiter Element: Water Cross/Quality: Mutable Group: Theoretical House Ruled: Twelfth Polarity: Negative Opposite Sign: Virgo Favorable Colors: Sea Green & Lavender Lucky Gem: Aquamarine Key Body Part: Feet & Immune System Period: Feb.19 - March 20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basic Profile: Sensitive, imaginative, multitalented, multifaceted, intuitive, compassionate, people oriented, sympathetic, receptive, big-hearted, generous, but can be escapist, unpredictable, irrational, gullible, passive, indecisive, weak, uncertain, clueless, vague, lethargic, vindictive, lazy, self-indulgent -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Famous Pisces: Cindy Crawford, George Washington, John Steinbeck, Rudolf Nureyev, Victor Hugo, Frederic Chopin, Michelangelo, Albert Einstein, Elizabeth Taylor, Glen Close, Anais Nin, Elizabeth Barret Browning, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ralph Nader, Kurt Cobain, Roger Daltry, Bobby Fischer, Pierre Renoir hmmz..... AQUARIUS Symbol: The Water Bearer Ruling Planet: Uranus/ Saturn Element: Air Cross/Quality: Fixed Group: Theoretical House Ruled: Eleventh Polarity: Positive Opposite Sign: Leo Favorable Colors: Electric Blue & Glow-in-the-Dark Shades Lucky Gem: Amethyst Key Body Part: Ankles & Circulatory System Period: Jan. 20 - Feb. 18 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basic Profile: Progressive, original, idealist, altruistic, issue-oriented, charismatic, up-to-date, visionary, humanitarian, personable, imaginative, generous, inspiring, practical, congenial, casual, open-minded, amiable, inventive, off-beat, but can be rebellious, eccentric, thoughtlessness, contrarian, childish, aloof, uninvolved, obstinate, antisocial, unconventional, impressionable -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Famous Aquarians: Toni Morrison, Susan B Anthony, Jackie Robinson, Charles Darwin, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, James Dean, Edouard Manet, John Travolta, James Joyce, Lord Byron, Wayne Gretsky, Ronald Reagan, Virginia Woolf, Paul Newman, Michael Jordan, Norman Rockwell, Charles Dickens, George Burns, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D Roosevelt, Clark Gable, Galileo, Oprah Winfrey nvr sae got conflict mahz.... u can make it onli if u believe tehgo walked into the light @ 9/11/2002 04:25:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, September 10, 2002 ok... i juz rmbed sth i tok too much... i lead n follow.... i follow too much.... i try to help too much.... i like m too much.... i m too much.... i m teh, wif a population of 5 mil, sez pong tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 09:49:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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juz wad?? i can tolerate.... not much.... but better than b4 huu luvs 2 call mi teh-sth... someone's s'pposed 2 betray mi 2ml... duh... too trusting... i've been betrayed so many times... summore... methinks tt... trying 2 prevent it frm happening will make it so... hahaz... if fortune telling wuz true... i can too... i sae u'll go sometime later in life =P haish... so hard 2 understand gurlz... "i think, therefore i m" famous quote rite? tt's y... y u think tt, therefore it is tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 08:35:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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The Taurus personality is typically straightforward and assertive, qualities that make it possible to accomplish a great deal and still have the time and energy to thoroughly enjoy the leisure hours. For the most part, other people are positively influenced by the Taurus character, which can serve as an encouragement to be tenacious about the issues that matter most in life. The Taurus man or woman can often be identified by clearly defined facial features and a dynamic personality. Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus, symbolizing romantic love and artistic pursuits. These qualities reflect the fun-loving side of the Taurus character and provide an excellent balance for its more pragmatic qualities." bleargh.... i'm starting 2 dislike miself.... even if i were 2 take resp... i mite not haf e courage... a cowardly elephant... haahaz others positively influenced?? izzat y half e class raised their hands 2 help changyuan when i did??? siaoz.... dynamic mi foot.... romantic love??? BLEARGH tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 04:50:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Wizard Says: You won't be able to resist someone so devoted and romantic--and why should you? This is someone who can help you find the poetry in your soul. eepz.... doesn't tt sound rite? tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 04:46:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Element: Earth Heading: East-South-East Color: Greenish-Blue Yin/Yang: Yin/Yang balanced Chinese Name: LONG Meaning: Luck Sign Order: Fifth Season: Spring Favorable Month: April Counterpart: Aries Friend: Rat, Monkey Foe: Dog Positives: Original, Confident, Resourceful, Adaptable, Valiant, Enthusiastic Negatives: Arrogant, Tactless, Hot-headed, Critical, Unpredictable, Quick-tempered Famous Dragons: Joan of Arc, Sarah Bernhardt, Faye Dunnaway, Pele, Paul Getty, Sandra Bullock, Count Basie, Tom Jones Amazink... it's a bit rite.... xcept tt long dun mean luck... can't sae evryone likes greenish-blue... but yah.... somewhat similar in most parts.... hahaz... no wonder we stick 2 ourselves.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 04:44:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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so song... both lousy classes i skip.... aniwaez... it wuz for some stoopid check up, for tonsils... sae too beeg then most likely need 2 op... 14 Nov... haish... when no sch.... dey sae tt can look forward 2 ice cream diet tt follows e op... eat too cold stuff most likely i get asthma n die first.... tsktsktsk... .................. no one is born for nothing.... at least tt's wad i noe so far... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 04:39:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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back 2 wad i juz rmb wad i wanted 2 sae... horoscopes change ppl's mindsets.... it depends whether u blieve in them tt's e question ppl shud ask... not, why m i in this horoscope? if u dun believe, there's nothing 2 prove wrong.... horoscope psyche ppl out.... wad if one dae a horoscope read," u r gonna die"? duh... not real until u blieve... faith is e power of e mind... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/10/2002 04:33:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Monday, September 09, 2002 "wat did i do wrong now? wat does my family have against mi newae...? juz yez nite my sister broke wif her bf... n guess wat? she took it out on mi... it iz my fault.... y? i dun understand... now my mum pulls the phone wire n it was like my first 2 calls todae.... on the double line... didnt even tok 4 five minz... n it wasnt guyz.... n she went siao... bleugh... then i get called vulgarities... n beaten by her.... madness..... tokin' iz a crime i suppose? bleugh.... stoopid sisters... stoopid parents... stoopid family... cant wait till im old enough or rich enough to move out... or im juz hopin' 4 a saviour... mi n my wishful dreamin'..." - frenz blog since u haf 2 older n 2 younger sisters... obviously ur older sister will take it out on u.... since she can't hit ur parents, nor ur younger sisters... or, if she's second, ur eldest sis... disrespect n bullying so in e end.... u r stuck, cannot hit younger, cannot scold older... parents get a lotta stress too, esp if looking after 4 or more kids... tolerance n patience r virtues tt ppl dun reeli haf.... i mean... ppl get fired even if they hafta send old parents 2 old ppl's homes which results in reporting in late.... then a wife being scolded by her spouse day n nite wun tolerate long n ask for a divorce.... tsktsktsk....... humanity has stooped so low.... wad happend 2 e honour? e loyalty n faith?? i think we wud haf been better off in e dark ages... families haf been separated.... since e start 20 yrs ago.... life has almost lost all value.... money is only material... happiness is e true wealth... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/09/2002 10:32:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i believe in satan? nahz... even if i did, tt wud mean tt i'm a satanist i haf a sword wif a ram's skull engraved in e hilt.... i dun look "saintly" in e first place... now i look like a pure gangster wif mi botak head.... counted liaoz.... aboz 15-18 ppl rub mi head 2dae... n 13+ sed "hi alvis".... farnie lahz.... so farnie since u aren't e target.... i think so far... i'ev stopped calling names... teh for mi ok..... but not alvis..... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/09/2002 10:24:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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sergius is getting polluted by our class spirit.... ah hell.... anione in our class will somehow or rather get influenced by eddy n co. juz bcuz i not fully botak.... he keeps saying... "living buddha... wah" or he irks mi by acting as his own innocent self.... then showing e tainted side... evryone sez i look like alvis frm e back.... eeee.... chioang..... bleargh.... 2dae's lit wuz damn sick.... mr cheong made some of us read out a romantic poem.... then he read out himself... wif implying signs... well, he's mr cheong wad... aniwaez... he gave us an assignment, tt we r supposed 2 find "e world is not enuff" or "all e time in e world", both frm james bond movies.... otherwise compose ur own songs as quoted below: "Ur songz can b horny, juz tt it muz b elegant. Jonathan n Daryl, if u want 2 compose a song like, 'I wanna screw u, i wanna screw u', no cannot, not elegant enuff" haishhaish.... sometimes he damn fun... sometimes.... come into class.... "wad shall we do now? ok, let's all write a 1000 word essay on ~~~~~~(wadever topic)" tehgo walked into the light @ 9/09/2002 10:17:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 08, 2002 i'm juz sad now.... i find solitude in e dead of e nite... it helps mi 2 concentrate... but.... i feel so lonely.... no gd frenz online.... there's an emptiness in mi heart only she cud fill... but since she dun like mi... no fill.... haish.... iz there no equal sides of a coin toss in life? muz there b a gd n bad @ any one time? life's so easy when u r happy.... u think no one can help u when u r down.... juz like mi.... i dun like tokking so much.... i keep closed.... y? i've been betrayed again.... less than a yr since tt time mi fren betrayed mi.... is betrayal part of mi life? or m i missing sth? sighz... y is life's mysteries so infathomable? y r there so many questions in life? y m i asking so many questions now? sighz.... m i a people person or a loner? y m i 1 when wif frenz n e other when i'm home? y,y,y... y izzit tt mi family can nvr understand mi n accept mi for hu i m? y izzit tt mi frenz can n tt they brighten mi life? haish... unless 2 use com.... i dun wanna b home.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/08/2002 01:03:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Saturday, September 07, 2002
now i think i'm nutz... mebbe tt's y i'm mi... i'm part evrything... life's troubles bounce off mi... or get kept in mi... yet i dun seem 2 care.... i'm a people person.... i live for others, not miself but i can change if needed.... so wad? i'm a teja.... a bit of evrything.... haaz... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 10:59:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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this is s'pposedly e crap result frm e superpower quiz... yet... it somehow fits mi.... well... looks n revenge part... not so mebbe it's juz this one or e previous one.... e one aboz absorbency... to mi... i start 2 think it may b both.... i'm a person wif a herding instinct, can adapt 2 wadever u throw at mi... unless it's hatred n death.... evrything else yes... but i also wish 2 b alone... to think more... so.... i can shapeshift n absorb.... :P tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 10:55:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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then like daniel is special cuz he is a gd fren n veri trustworthy... mr cheong is special tt he understands mi class n cohort... so he alwaes asks b4 giving hw... i'm special... cuz i dun reeli like humans.... tho i may like a gurl... not most humans..... daryl is special cuz he's a fren i noe since long ago... 5yrs ago matthew is exquisite(can't keep using e same words) cuz he understands mi.... now tt's amazing robbie-liam watson(frm new zealand) is special cuz he's a gd fren 2 mi altho i've nvr seen him b4.... shijun is special tt in her own actions she is cute... michelle is special cuz she is diff frm other gurlz i noe(which gurl usually plays games tt boys play? like warcraft 3??) yowie is special tt he may irritate mi, but is also contradictory like mi...(says confusing stuff) jw is like mi... tt she experiences similar probz in diff light... (nono... not tt i like her... dun gao xiao) m is special... in quite a few ways.... tt's y i like her... many others r special.... if i were 2 name all of em.... it'll take mi a few daes... n i still haven't done mi holz hw... lol tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 10:47:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i watched a horror movie on HBO... n danm freaky.... a gurl summons e djinn.... a "demon" hu grants wishes(in other myths, it's a genie not a demon) by accident e djinn wants her 2 wish all 3 times, so he can get e power of hell he kills her frenz one by one.... 2 get her 2 wish 1 fren survives cuz she wished 2 invoke e powers of e angel michael... then he pushes her out of e strangling invocation n becomes michael... e djinn kills one fren hu thot she wuz fat, by a "simple" liposuction.... she starts to vomit blood, then later bodily fat... damn grotesque... he sez tt she alwaes thot her stomach wuz e prob, then she dies by losing all bodily fat n becoming a shriven skeleton... tt's y... i dun think u r fat.... if tt's wad u r implying... u r beautiful... u juz dunno it.... n a sensible person wud noe when not 2 listen 2 others... no offense... juz went 2 c e relics... i started crying... so badly i hid miself in e toilet 2 cry first.... b4 coming out wif a red face.... n redredred eyes.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 10:33:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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siaoz.... i party alot mehz? fashion mi foot.... damndamn siao loneliness is a prob no one can solve, cuz we r too complex.... simple herding and pack instincts no longer werk for us... we want someone close 2 open up 2... n not get betrayed.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 10:25:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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e beginning of life... a birth... not juz humans... tt one dun care liaoz i tokking aboz e fragile beings... turtles juz born thrust straight into e dangerous world... crocs tt fight for survival when young... when u get a puppy... it's alwaes comforting 2 haf it arnd... a horse n its foal... tt's wad brings mi back 2 e reason i live... to save this creatures... from man... i'll do wadever i can 2 stop reckless destruction of habitats... hahaz... now i noe y i alwaes want 2 bring dogs home whenever i c one... even if it were someone else's... siao.... tt's wad daniel wud haf sed.... e elephant... mi idol... hehez.... big, enormous, strong... yet gentle... but not 2 e extent of being taken adv of, like e elephants in africa.... so peaceful... yet ppl want money... they crave for money they juz want e bez for themselves.... unforgiveable... if i cud grow wings n claws... i'd leave singapore for africa.... to defend mi frenz.... of nature...... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 02:32:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i've lost ..... 5 ppl to Death now..... »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: tt's y mi pain is so great HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: itz just the starting board »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: cuz i knew them HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: but u will learn to get to the stage whereby u will learn to control HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: cuz u have to »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: i think it will take eternity HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: no it wun »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: life hasn't gone well for mi.... until i met frenz... then marian HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: cuz ur life wun wait for u »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: tt's rite HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: and u kno wat »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: wad? HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: why is it so hard to feel at peace with urself about the ones u've lost? »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: u noe when i lost mi first? b4 i wuz even 2 »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: then it next wuz at 8 or 9 »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: next wuz 10 »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: then 13 »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: then now HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: yeah HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: so why is it so hard to be at peace? HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: u were only two! HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: why do u rmb so far back then? »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: mi grandfather... i understood tt.... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: they all died of natural causes? »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: e monk wuz e one hu named mi... teja means bright... »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: not all... 2 were accidents... 1 wuz a paralyzing illness... e other 2 yes.... HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: tell me about them? »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: mi parents alwaes thot i had sth special... i do... it's called... i dunno... understanding? i rmb things damn long ago.... a time which i shud haf forgot »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: mi grandfather died of diabetes »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: i nearly died of a hole in e heart n asthma one yr later HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: oh.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: then mi fren at e age of 8 died of asthma and paralysis HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: oh »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: mi "ah ma" (so not related, mi nanny's mother) killed in hit n run »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: mi grandaunt died after falling at home »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: e monk died of old age..... »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: n diabetes »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: u noe y i rmb? cuz i felt their pain n sorrow b4 they went... on tt same dae... i either fell ill or juz felt pain in mi body.... »~*¤TëH¤*~« yay! i made a spectacular victory... says: i juz wud think tt sth bad wud happen HoLz ArE a GrEaT dEpReSsAnT... especially the SePtEmBeR oNez--==>> In Exile For 4 Dayz.... Terrible... says: i see... memory is painful... as well as relieving... rmbring a joke is ok... rmbring a death is a living hell..... this is another secret of mine... i dun think i wanted 2 tell anione as i din want their pity... or wadever u call it... i din want 2 gif them wad i held dearest... mi memories.... but since jw wuz willing 2 listen... so.......... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2002 12:59:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 06, 2002 i cud die for u.... if u were in trouble... i'll go to u asap... even if i die trying.... y? cuz i'm mad for u..... i've been watching 2 many animes... wif a guy hu reeli likes a girl is in.... i'm nutz for these kinda stories..... then he dies while trying 2 save her........ if i cud.... i'd b willing...... bcuz..... i'n juz living for her.... not even miself.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/06/2002 11:44:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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i can help others onli if i noe wad 2 do... n wad i noe bez is brute force.... other than tt.... i try 2 take their pain away... teja... u muz stop... some dae... u juz gonna drop 2 ur knees n sae "Kami-sama... Doshite?" or... u'll juz stiffen up wif e pain n sorrow.... n enjoy rest.... for a longlong time..... hehz... no gangs in ri... wimps of ri.... hear mi call... c e gangsters n run..... 666..... oh no! tt's satanic!! (sheesh) 13.... unlucky!! wear red!!! (bleargh) it's either RI r short n ugly muggers, nerds, wimps, absolute losers except in academic studies.... hahaz ACS(I) filled wif shuai-ges, strong, buff boys.... hahaz... i'm thinking.... ri ppl, sec 2 geps in particular, aren't weak, not so mugger, most not ugly, short, weak, n r pure frenz in dire times.... no offense... i juz think tt some acs ppl got attitude probz.... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/06/2002 11:37:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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y i hurt miself n not others when i m pissed? juz look at it... i'm big,i'm strong, i can definitely maim a person.... but i dun... mi life is full of irony... i like a gurl hu dun like mi.... i like frenz but oso want 2 b alone... i'm chinese, can speak english, but i prefer jap.... worse... i can get 95+ for jap.... i'm a beeg person wif a scary look... but i m kinder than most... i m a human.... i hate humans...... i m..... TEJA.... boy of irony.... sighz tehgo walked into the light @ 9/06/2002 08:32:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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"i think happiness iz the most impt thing in life... onlee it can take away all the loneliness.... i wish everyone was happie wif their frenz... then mebbe nobody will feel empty... w/o the feelin' of emptiness or longin' then nobody will ever look 4 sumone to share tt emptiness wif.... then nobody will get hurt...." ppl r nvr fully happie wif their lives, be it a longing or sth else, cuz nothing can fully satisfy wad we want "A utopia for one may end up a hell for another" - Colin Cheong tt's y we want frenz... to share our joy n pain, but most of all... to get rid of our loneliness... "When ppl betray u, u wunder hu ur frenz reeli are" - Azizul Kamal Shah we feel reeli hurt when someone close 2 us betrays our trust, n tt we begin 2 suspect ppl around us... it juz ends up in us closing our minds, not sharing anything... i wuz happy 2dae... then some shit told mi cca teacher sth else, tt i wuzn't doing mi irs, which needs gps n constant fieldwerk... like i wuz going home 2 play or some shit liddat. sure i do... only past 8... if mi cca lasted past 8, set, i go lorhz... mebbe i wun blog so much anymore.... it'z juz opening up miself 2 betrayal... a word i forgot so long ago... now.... it'z back... somehow... e hurt will turn 2 anger, then hatred... for mi... tt happens damn fast... now it'z becum a bloodlust... i'm so pathetic... i get hurt juz after i try 2 forget e feeling of getting betrayed..... *sobz* tehgo walked into the light @ 9/06/2002 05:15:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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these few.... they strike a hidden place in mi heart.... i juz feel so deflated whenever it does...... brightness doesn't mean intelligence.... neither compassion.... but i m hu i m...... or i m hu i m when i m..... i'm living in a world wif 2 different lights.... hatred, anger, pain n sorrow.... or happiness, luv, compassion..... i've been splitting for a long time, but now.... it's either mostly one or e other.... not gd.... bcuz tt means mi pain wun stop... 4 ppl in mi life haf gone b4 mi..... mi heart is starting to lose hope... tt one dae... we wun die in pain..... mi eyes seriously hurt.... almost blood red.... like bloodshot...... mi heart is dying so rapidly..... i feel like going this yr.... but i can't... bcuz i'll rmb her when i die... i wanna forget.... evryone.... so tt when i die.... i die alone... no one will wanna care for mi..... 'tis sed tt when a person is dying, he/she makes evryone hate him/her..... isn't tt wad i'm doing? aahhh.... i'm losing grip on u, e world... now.... mi sanity............... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/06/2002 01:08:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Thursday, September 05, 2002 "hey.... it's me again... i wish to haf a fren.... mebbe one of ur angels..." lilo asking for stitch, not snitch stitch is a one-of-a-kind alien, even in character n mindset... hu is born of a science experiment? excluding testtube babiez... then he falls onto an island on a distant planet, which completely changes him... a menace 2 a kindred soul... touching.... when he sez... "i'm... lost" n oso (for dunno how many times i've sed this, mebbe 3) "ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten" it hits mi in e head tt.... i m liddat... i m violent... very... then i meet frenz her.... lifetime frenz... n i wish 2 b wif them... then i wun b lost, or lonely... Ohana... =p tehgo walked into the light @ 9/05/2002 10:45:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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definition of gd dream: not a nightmare, not a premonition, not a blank mind last nite... i had a reeli nice dream... dunno y... i rmb, all e ppl frm floating classroom as well as e whole sec 2 gep cohort frm chiangmai, went 2 thailand again... (like i said... dunno y) then added in were 3 ppl... M, Michelle n SJ. somehow... i wuz different... i still felt her sadness... then she asked mi whether we cud sneak out since she wanted some fresh air after tt long plane ride. i said i'll try, n we did in e middle of e nite... cudn't tell exactly when, it wuz a dream... then i hugged her n kissed her on e cheek she didn't reject mi... tt's y i wuz so elated...it's juz a dream... then i, some plmgs ppl, some gd frenz frm ri n e 3 ppl frm NY were chatting in a room (very quick scene change in mi mind) i wuz reeli happy.... it sounded so normal.... i wud haf thot it wuz real... i mean... i wish it were real... n then... i juz woke up n cried..... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/05/2002 11:56:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Wednesday, September 04, 2002 'tis painful to lose a fren... worse 2 c one getting hurt... i juz feel some kinda psychological voodoo on mi... u tell mi aboz ur sorrows... i juz feel it in mi heart... i c mi fren kena punished... for no gd reason... i feel so pissed i cud rip sth wif mi bare hands... i juz feel too much... i juz dun wanna hurt anyone... not mi frenz... not miself... so i dun let up... it's like... after blogging so much... i dun c any secrets i haf on this blog... not a single one... life's hell for mi... bcuz i've got no one hu i can share this wif... y? it's already too painful for mi 2 handle... this has gone past many yrs... since i cud understand things... so long... e grudge is so powerful... somehow, it nvr ends for mi... saying goes: even if u rmb e grudge... e person mite not rmb... mi growth has begun 2 b stunted... i shud haf shot past 1.8 long ago... but no...i'm stuck... juz like in mi lifetime nitemare... if i were to lose anymore... i think i'll crumble n fall apart... losing a fren is juz too great... it'z juz like losing part of miself... i wanna take away all ur pain n gif it 2 miself then at least one can b happy... it'z been so long since i've let up, tt it'z natural i bear e burden of many this... one secret at last... is e true Teja Lim Kwang Meng... e one tt has been controlled e whole life... so tt even if e pain n hatred were 2 consume mi, it will leave thee, n i will juz crumble... reeli splitting miself into 2 i think... i'll survive mebbe this yr... next yr... harder 2 tell... bcuz i'm tired of living... there's juz too much pain tehgo walked into the light @ 9/04/2002 11:27:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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For Real sounds lively, a bit naive, n ready.... e piano version sounds impt... for touching scenes... it wakes sth inside ur heart... it gets to u... i feel damn sad... m i juz gonna wish to do sth? or m i gonna do tt sth? i'm gonna try e 2nd choice... i've gotta change mi life somehow... so i do this first... thanks m... (forgot 2 sae... a person i noe frm NYGH)... for cheering mi up mebbe i'll reconsider continuing to live on life as expected... =p tehgo walked into the light @ 9/04/2002 11:06:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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tt's wad i read frm a site.... some i cudn't rmb... doesn't it sound rite? i can surprise miself sometimes... even tho i thot i cudn't... i juz din flare 2dae... being called names by mi eldest sis, then summore she sae tt she wanna use com... y shud i let her? i sounded extremely eloquent for mi usual self, i din shout nor swear back... i juz.. held back.... e whole while... even after she hit mi in e head... i thot i wud end up half-killing her even tho she wuz mi eldest sis... n took e whole thing slowly... even after telling mi pa n quarrelling a bit... in which i still sounded, weirdly, composed n calm... then she sed sth tt hurt... like i had nothing gd xcept telling mi parents gd morning n nite... i juz snapped... in a queer way... i juz cried over n over again... not a howling cry, but juz sobbing... which i do so much these daez... n i still spoke so calmly... i reeli felt like slapping her then... sounds so mi... but this time... it wuz like it wasn't mi... hahah... i feel much better... even tho i'm juz typing it out n not saying it... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/04/2002 10:46:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, September 03, 2002 i juz realised how hypocritical mi life has been... going 2 do sth dangerous... i tell ppl 2 believe in mi... when i dun believe miself in e first place... i tell ppl 2 trust mi wif their secrets... i dun entrust anyone wif them... i tell ppl 2 relac n dun bottle themselves up... i keep 2 miself... i tell ppl 2 cheer up n forget their troubles... i'm troubled for life... but at least i noe... tt when she is happy n i tell her 2 b... i m too... finally... something i can b happy of... luv u... tehgo walked into the light @ 9/03/2002 11:05:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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