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Monday, September 29, 2003 sighz. i'm already a bit worried and tired. so close 2 exams, so far to full holz... sian manz... now mi mom noez mi cl o's not over so i wun b able 2 play during october. wtf. i wanna play. dun care. after eoy i play. cl can get screwed. i dun do tt badly aniwaez. sighz. veri tired of mugging. n not playing. no wonder y mi foot always like moulting liddat. cuz whenever i needa stop in soccer, i drag mi foot. e turf grates e outer layer of skin. veri song. veri irritating. listening to non-updates anime songs. y? cuz too bz playing tft. n then dowan 2 dl them. not off kazaa or fan sites. then i'll lag in ft. it's 1 or e other. mebbe i dl when i playing ps2. lee hoo wanna noe y mi n jquek luv ps2. it's fun wad. veriveri fun. budden he like soccer games. i like, got a lot of cash horhz. i like, noe e store no stock. n i dunno wad he likes. can't accommodate all. i'll end up accommodating none. e klaz wuz booming wif lame stuff 2day. n david went crazee. suddenly started laffing. budden i noe he meant as joke. not like spaz clement. dipshit. 2ml haf water polo. c which side we play. i think ocj, lsh and maas will kill mi. nvr handed up mi last chance werk. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/29/2003 07:25:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Saturday, September 27, 2003 if i ever wuz a tft hero, i wish i wuz a crypt lord then i wud b dead already. i wudn't haf 2 put up wif this shit. i think i'm escaping too much. y r all these negative thots coming 2 mi? i wish i wuz positive. mebbe it's juz mi. or mebbe it's noeing she'll nvr like mi. but wth, i shall do wadever i haf 2 do. or die trying. tt's it. get a motto. Do or die trying! tehgo walked into the light @ 9/27/2003 08:30:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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when wuz i ever so bz mugging? when wuz i ever so tired of this? when wuz i ever so... sth? hjo iz 11 days older than mi n fit i shall b fit. 2nite i muz do 500 situps then continue everyday do aboz 100 then i shall b fit. monster rancher 3 iz fun e monsters r so cute!! evidently, i had liked pokemon n digimon a bit. budden joey juz pushed all interest out of it. but monster rancher iz not tainted n it's too complex for his puny mind 2 comprehend so... yay! it's nice 2 c ur monster thrash evry1 budden mi poor dragon died... haishz... i'm tokking too much aboz games liaoz. i skipped aikido again... for mugging sciences n then halfway pong asked if i wuz free truthfully i wuzn't, budden pong's mi fren can't let him down. then we played hex-sth on msn later on he went back 2 mugging geog, n mi, physics wif ah huat's powerpoints. looking inside mi, not literally, i feel empty, not hungry, but juz empty sth's missing, n i dunno wad. i think these few days i feel veri insecure like sth's out there 2 get mi. like evry1's out 2 get mi if i'm on their wrong side. i think it's juz mi n miself. i'm training to get abs, both mi n weihan. i shall do so, n slowly train 2 b able to get past anything. let's go teja. yeah teja, let's go. ok now i'm going nuts. i'm listening 2 more than 1 voice in mi head. mebbe they're rite. mebbe i m 5 mil ppl. =p tehgo walked into the light @ 9/27/2003 08:22:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Saturday, September 20, 2003 sighz. bored outta mi mind sia. went out for lunch wif garlic, jip n pehpeh. we had soccer b4 then, frm 11 to 12 liddat b4 then wuz stupid e maths shit i juz cooked up sum xcuse 2 skip aikido damn, i feel so guilty now. but i wuz bloody tired n din wanna b more tired b4 i had 2 study for mi a maths. trying 2 save it larhz. chiang will laff when he seez this. then he will make a hell lotta noise, when he finds out htt came back 2 sch on fri, when he wuz absent. lolz. mi foot haven't fully healed lehz. it looks like a scab, but bloody hurts when i try 2 peel it (yech) or put mi weight on it hate it manz, then cannot blast properly bcuz i blast wif e front part of mi foot n then tt has e surgery part. sighz. boring days r here again. now even more boring. i din give a shit prev yrs. now i haf high chance of getting kicked out of ri damn ppl go suck kok eat shit n die. sry. wad i scold whenever i dun wanna swear. wasted 15 bucks on mtg cards, unlucky. got all e cards b4, arnd there, or useless for mi deck. y do ppl play raw deal? fun mehz? i noe mtg fun, budden, playing as another person iz like, bleargh haish. mugging mathses now. esp a maths. damndamndamn. wif e power of water, i shall change. yar rite. i changed. i bcame more bored. weihan finally knew wad i thot. i think tt evrything can b a weapon. he tried asking aboz a blade of grass. i simply replied, at p2 or 3, sum unlucky stupid bugger tried 2 push mi arnd bigger guy. i took wadever i cud get, a long blade of grass, n whipped him ouch manz, saw e cut it made. along e upper arm. n tt guy left crying =p i'm an evil person. now sum1 shud let lsh noe i cannot b pushed arnd both literally n figuratively. i'm happy dis yr i controlled miself din blow mi top n did sth rash. unlike yrs b4. life iz sucky now. i can tell i m strengthening up. altho a bit too unwittingly. i tapped e ball n it went flying. n it wuzn't even a blast by jong. it wuz pitched too far, slowly rolling then i tapped it n it went out bside e goal. n i wuz at our goal. n then again, it's like, door closing. i dun slam doors, or so i thot then i juz asked a tcher for sth once. then i sed thanks sir, after tt i slammed e door. major blooper sia. i instantly apologized. sighz. now i haf 2 mug n stop digressing. time turns n waits for no one, unless e guy's a time mage. lolz. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/20/2003 07:03:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 19, 2003 damn rat n damn sihui. bloody slut n bitch. wah lan ehz. near end of sch, rat comes in, "ok, these ppl muz come 2 sch 2ml, at 8.30 am, compulsory" blablabla, then of cos i m in, cuz of stupid e maths but mebbe last min tell damn fun larhz n then lsh wanted mi 2 stay back y? cuz i owe her 2 zuo wens. jason owes her 11, daryl sez his aboz 4, ngiap oso owes, then bitch juz picks on mi. i'm e worst in klaz she sez. mebbe if she taught, i wun b e worst? n then it's like, i got 46, mi first cl/hcl fail in mi LIFE ben tham got 32.5. i'm e worst in klaz. tell mi tt muchmuch more. seriously. u noe, bottling up stuff ain't gd, budden, wif such ppl n even if i write here, i still wanna whack sth. veriveriveri hard. esp e thing wif e name lsh. bitch. slut. whore. think aboz gd stuff. 2day, i din whack pong. altho he wuz laming his day. toktok din come 2day. e klaz cheered. n i mean literally. ah huat had us do prac. we had swimming which tired us out. wuz like, by 3rd period, evry1 falling asleep. played soccer at e turf, juz after putting small bandage on. but wtf, it came out less than 1 min of play. n gary seriously made logical sense 2day. "ytf, do we keep playing soccer on e turf on fridays, when we noe we're gonna get chased off, and we still come back, week after week?" oh yarhz. lee hoo dun like mi, pong or, forgotten hu, 2 say, fuck, it's like, he keeps going, tsk, or, aye, then tells us y say vulgarities or dun say vulgarities. cute kid. then mi, lee hoo, n ummm.... loushee memory, went 2 eat recess when we were chased off e turf, 15 mins after we started playing. pong iz either cheeko or lame. more lame larhz, but still cheeko. damn, i bloody tired liaoz, lan jiao mugging n swimming 2day. onlee fun thing tt tired mi out wuz playing ps2 wif jquek n qixiang. otherwise, another boring day, wif stupid bitches n sluts n whores. damn. i shudn't keep using such words. ok. stupid rats, things n such. gd nite. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/19/2003 10:56:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Thursday, September 18, 2003 bitch lsh spoilt mi day. she thinks she can malu mi in klaz when evryday she iz a bitch. she teaches, yar, lifeskills. n expects us 2 get a1s for hcl. go eat shit n die. bitch. if not for her, i wudn't haf gone home so late 8 pm. yucks. stayed in sch until 7.30 bitchbitchbitch. summore act so smug. wo yi jing gao shu ni de fu mu le. ni qian wo shen me gong ke kuai dian jiao bu ran wo jiu da dian hua gei ni de fu mu. now use mi parents' power over mi. yar rite. like i sed, go eat shit n die. mebbe i'm a bit big larhz. mebbe mi parents can't stop mi. mebbe if u achalli taught then we wudn't b liddis. sighz. i'm bored of e exams even tho they aren't here yet. nothing 2 do. n i'm reeli bloody bored. mebbe mi vow against gaming ain't working. shitshitshit. nvm, at least i can play =D i miss mi aikido mates. i miss gaming together. dammit. screw exams lehz. but i cannot. y? if i dun make it dis time, byebye ri. i'm sure sum ppl will b happy. seriously. sum ppl will b jumping for joy. ppl like joey, chee siong, those hu tio mi. most of e time, they r free, budden when i come arnd, they dun act so free. rather constrained. i've had a bad past. i promise 2 try not 2 use force. pong iz arhz, lame crap. sighz. y din X cross e rd? cuz he din tick it. wtf. lame like crazee. i think e exams r getting to him. evryday iz a new day. shud i die tt day, e next day for evryone iz a new day. i think i've known wad weihan has noticed. i treat fellow, wadeveruwannacallit, like crap, n treat animals of all kinds much better. so mi infancy n first 5 yrs had been wif... long b4 time. yar. i liked dinos then. i still do. budden watching it again brings back memories. gd memories. no worries, no pain, no stress. when i look back now, sure, i tokked 2 miself. now i do, when i juz wanna crack. n then i tok 2 mi toys. hoped they'd protect mi. protect mi frm mi vivid imagination. i'd always think, until aboz 7-8yrs ago, tt t-rex will get mi. sorrie larhz, i wuzn't too much of a horror kid when young. mi family spoilt mi sense of reality. then i got mi 1st dog. it got lost after a few wks. sad thing. it left during a thunderstorm. then we got lucky, now so old. 10 yrs in human yrs. e whole while we had lotsa koi, budden i dun think fishes reeli interact a lot. then odie came into our lives a few yrs back. e crow, e pigeon, e pigeon b4 tt. lil' dogs n cats along e rd. i luved tt. i'm pouring mi heart out here, n i dunno if bryant will use this against mi. i dun think, n hope, he ain't tt low. he can b nice at times, or reeli bastard. budden, not mi prob. i think i shud bcome either a vet or zookeeper next time. even tho it's gonna b reeli tough n mucky, mi luv for animals will nvr evrevr die. no matter wad happens, animals r cute. even if e snake tried 2 bite mi in e zoo. even if e lion tried 2 do tt too in e zoo. even if e falcon slashed mi face too. even if e dog bit mi damn hard too. even if e shark nearly took mi hand for lunch. even if e croc nearly took mi head off. even if e bull nearly put 2 holes in mi. even if e elephant nearly flattened mi. i still will luv animals. it's their instinct to do so. trained or not. gd nite mi frenz, n mi frenz of e wild =D=D=D tehgo walked into the light @ 9/18/2003 10:18:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 14, 2003 alex iz juz like lee hoo liddat onlee juz 1 yr diff. if i'm not wrong or wuz it 2 yrs diff? aniwaez, alex n lee hoo both veri cute cuz they oso act cute. but can oso b serious when they reeli haf e need 2. he wuz playing a fool at ken trg yest then i of cos juz laffed wif him rite? i can't b tt serious. then tt's not teja aniwaez. then i sed, ok larhz, serious larhz. then he like, bian le yan shen, looked serious, as serious as a black gold shud b then he striked. gd gd gd thing it wuz a light ken gd thing i can take more "damage" bcuz it wuz fast. n i side stepped away. budden, he play a fool again, swiped e ken rite at mi even tho not reeli supposed to. supposedly we r supposed 2 punch e side of e person atking, when we enter frm his rite then accidentally, cuz his rite = mi left mi left hand cannot ctrl str tt well. then he wuz like, oooh... owowow... budden he recovered fast larhz. heng si i din anyhow whack. like if it wuz mi elder cuzzies bcuz then like, make sure whack like wanna kill liddat tt's e idea marhz. hehz. alex oso in acs i larhz. zheng wen, alex n 2 others were tokking aboz acs i n barker rugby alex in acs i swimming. lolz. ri rugby sucks. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2003 06:45:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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she found out i had a cross on mi mebbe she thot i converted. she dun understand. i m multi-religious =D no larhz. i wanna collect all e religious symbols i dunno. starting of a weird hobby? aniwaez. dragonmaster trilogy seems nice i read finished e first bk at 12:10 am tt day i bot it so so SO nice. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/14/2003 06:38:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Friday, September 12, 2003 yarrkkkkz. i juz realised sth on mi ic. mebbe they've forgot it. or mebbe i'm not reeli human. Blood Type : - wtf. i no blood type. kill mi when i need blood. not for drinking. i mean, other stuff. then wad aboz when i donate blood? sighz. i m a no blooder. altho i can bleed like a fountain. i no blood type scully later come up wif a type C. song bo. type T. type Teja. lolz. ok this iz telling mi i'm getting too bored. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2003 07:29:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 You're a Sapphire. You seem to be unreachable, but deep inside, you are really a nice and warm person. You are elegant and get along well with people once you know them. What Jewel Are You? brought to you by Quizilla sapphire's nice. it's quite a coincidence i wuz thinking aboz sapphires last nite. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2003 07:27:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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 Anti-Proton -- You are generally a homebody like the proton, but you are very disagreeable being anti-matter and all. You annihilate everything that you come into contact with. If there's not many people arround, you like to hang out with positrons. What kind of subatomic particle are you? brought to you by Quizilla uh ok... i sumwad believe this. i think. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2003 07:23:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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he looked sad. traumatized. din trust us. not even mi, e onlee 1 hu din send him 2 e hosp but i stayed wif him latest. up till 2.30 am made sure he slept. mebbe he cud feel it then he started 2 trust mi more, but hid at e sight of anyone else. holz suck. so much bloody werk. esp bitch sihui. made sure i had tons of cl to do lan jiao. enfo's team survival iz a fun mod. muz find lam n tanyan to play. spent e days after kukup playing or rather, having e monday wif 7 hrs of klaz chem first, then supposedly 5 hrs, which bcame 6 we were watching k-19 near e end of hist i mean, duh, cold war, k-19, kinda linked next day i had 7 hrs of cl n hcl tuition inclusive 1 hr break for dinner. nearly died there, so bloody boring after too long n then next day had, n thank evrything for tt, 1.5 hr chem+physics tuition onlee tt much. then i played on e rest for wed n thursday wuz complete rest. 2day half-rest. did werk n mugged until 2+ played a game of enfo, stopped, thrashed mi hcl ws, sec 1 rev, played at 4 until now so enjoyable. now not looking forward to werk esp 1 phys, 1 e n a maths past yr paper mi suckiest subjects. i hate bitching. makes mi bitch even longer. yarrrkz. i want strength. strength unmatchable. regeneration. regeneration unstoppable. like e hulk. i want power. to change this world. change e failure of e human race. change e path it is leading e world to. absolute n complete destruction. 100 yrs frm now, we most likely may or may not live but a 100 yrs from now iz a long time n a long time for man to kill n destroy again tears r for e strong, but also for e weak. tears can b used wrongly too. tears. meaning them iz strength. but to lose tears means much more. for e power of e crypt lord. ruler of e nerubian ruins. i dunno y i m even thinking this. LOL. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/12/2003 07:17:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, September 07, 2003 e m'sia trip wuz super fun. for sum reason or another, i bought a cross for mi self. 2 in fact. veri veri veri fun. mi dog not so... jia lat now it wuz fun even to e last min, but not fun after coming back. now got compo to do, shit sia sighz... veriveri tired after playing ps2 last nite until... 4 am? yarhz, in m'sia, gd thing nvr spoil n teo gets pissed when ppl call him songjie =p even tho tt's his name. but mad maas uses it lots so he gets pissed. tiredtiredtired. i think i'll sleep for 12 hrs b4 2ml's 6 hrs of lessons... sheesh -_- tehgo walked into the light @ 9/07/2003 03:31:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, September 02, 2003 gods. u do not noe how much i reeli wanna cry n scream i juz hate u all so much, for not even being able 2 save him y? has he done any harm 2 u? has he done any wrong? i hate u. i hateuhateuhateu. i hate u all so much so much i wish i cud juz go up there, curse u all e way down to hell, and back up again, more than a million, billion times n it wud not b enuf. he can't even sleep in peace if a tick wuz near his hindleg, he cannot scratch using his mouth cuz he has tt stupid funnel thing arnd his neck n then he can't sleep properly he wuz crying n crying, he can nvr hope 2 haf his old life back he acts as if his eye wuzn't cracked n tt flesh not sticking out of it but he can't see on his left he cannot see anything, he can onlee hear do u noe, do u haf any absolutely fucking idea how it pains mi 2 see him liddat? no matter how much he cheng qiang he cries, tears falling, yet he noez we're there for him but e pain, e pain... i juz wanna beat someone up y m i crying? i dunno. mebbe cuz mi oldest fren now has 2 go? i wanna go wif him. i dun want mi frenz to go b4 mi all dogs plsplspls go to heaven. i wish wif all mi heart, yet part of mi dun wish tt he will go in his slp, no pain, no worries, no regrets onlee salvation, comfort, happy memories, plsplspls.... someone... juz grant mi tt small wish i've nvr been granted mi wishes b4 mebbe cuz sumtimes, it's for mi, so now i wish for him 2 end his suffering naturally tt he wud go painless, no regrets, free from all to God, to Allah, To Lord Vishnu, Lord Shiva and Lord Brahma to the Lord Buddha, to King Sakka, to anyone up there hu wud pls grant mi this small wish pls let mi dog go frm suffering. pls. tehgo walked into the light @ 9/02/2003 10:35:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |