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Sunday, July 31, 2005 LiStEninG tO: Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed Destiny - Vestige trowa's right. n i will. it's time to shut off now. like b4. loneliness. but focus. i mean, i'm alr not called to go out so it's not a big diff. anw. it's going away. i've no mood to talk, to play. i guess it's this time of e yr again. to lose it all, work my hardest for e exams, n then get back to it. i'm killing my social life as of now. chats will b kept short. no more 1 hr chats or 4 hrs for that matter, no more "i'm chatting on WoW" no more "chatting on bnet". it's now or i'll lose it all. n i'm going crazy alr. i guess that's why i'm depressed? mebbe. but i dowan to lose my frens. even tho i tink i've lost them alr. still. once this card ends, i'll not WoW until promos r over. once this card ends, wc3 is shut down forever. once this card ends, i'm no longer ponning lessons, slping in class. i will b studying n working. hard. or i'll fail to get at least a B avg in promos. n not get promoted. GG! tehgo walked into the light @ 7/31/2005 10:15:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Guilty Gear XX - Elegance Full Metal Alchemist - Undo Card Captor Sakura - Tomoe firstlyyyyyy. i wanna feel happier abit so i'll dedicate this part of e entry to a special friend of mine. this friend has been my friend since i was 5 (so it's not bryan lum dario pehpeh trowa dings cai yabbie sinchi wl gary etcetcetc ><). he has been with me, and is alwaes there for me. funnily enuff, he's my dog. i will alws love him. he greets me in e morning daily. he brightens my day. he waits for me to come home. he calls any1 at home to open my gate for me (by barking/whining). evrytime i see his funny grinning face i can't help but feel happy. he's special in that way. n in shih tzu yrs? he's alr 180 odd. if he dies, i noe it'll take alot out of me. i noe i'll lose it. go ballistic, fall into depression, w/e.. which is why sometimes i feel selfish n nvr want him to die, even if he's ill. i guess it's why i want to b a vet... being together with my friends now is why i want to b a doc.. ok. now. i feel like it's coming back. feeling totally jaded. tired. sick. thinking this is all fucked up. mebbe pehpeh is right. get "terminated" as ur exam score. like halfway thru exams stand up and say "fuck this" n walk out. i hate all this. work, more work, studies, more studies. study hard n get to a good sch was what motivated me in rosyth. study hard n get good grades to stick with them was what motivated me to study in ri. now i'm sick of it. all these lies. haven't u ever wondered, what we'll do, after studying? work! how fun! n then we work until we're old, n try to "enjoy" life, while we lost our youth studying n working. that rocks. n now i'm juz shutting myself off again. i asked ppl if they going out sms me. but there was no reply. i guess it's time to say, yah i understand, n shut off now. like, i'm not supposed to b there. they juz tolerate me being there. i'm not wanted there rofl. which is mebbe due to my childhood of not reeli liking to mix arnd wif ppl but wif animals instead. trowa. a special person. haha. i love him. once i went over to his hse until 10pm on a tuesday night, i went there like weekly, then once in 2 days, then practically daily. went to play ps2, teach him wc3, n other funny shit, like reading maddox. or w/e that guy's name was. so, no matter when, or where, i'll feel close to him. even wif his funny shit like, "hmmm looks like it's going to rain leh from here" "no leh my side seems like no rain" "izzit? good" "oh shit i din see e large dark cloud there" "GG OF NO RE LOL" ".." "IT'S FUCKING RAINING FUCKING HELL" haha.. in an sms convo -_-.. btw. i'm nicely paragraphing cuz cindia n jingxiu told me to -_-.. anw yah. i'm so tired of it all, i wonder if my friends r e only ppl keeping me studying. if not, who? or what? tehgo walked into the light @ 7/31/2005 06:06:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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sounds more like a speech version. anw. hahhaha a duck flew over the moon says: lol the guy who added me is gay =)) tehgo [^ ^] tehgo.blogspot.com rock on!!! says: -.-"" =)) tehgo [^ ^] tehgo.blogspot.com rock on!!! says: it's jong. a duck flew over the moon says: Name depressed depressed Age Undisclosed Gender Female Marital Status Widowed Location Singapore a duck flew over the moon says: omg lol... a duck flew over the moon says: gaiety =)) tehgo [^ ^] tehgo.blogspot.com rock on!!! says: rofl a duck flew over the moon says: Little About Me im a depressed crackwhore Favorite Things depressed prata Hobbies and Interests bein depressed a duck flew over the moon says: wtf a duck flew over the moon says: trust jong to come up with such gaiety lol i love trowa alot alot. n his smses are. ^^ tehgo walked into the light @ 7/31/2005 12:32:00 am -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, July 24, 2005 LiStEninG tO: Mahou Sensei Negima - Maze of the Dark [Remix] omgomgomgomgomg! evry1 pls vote ETERNAL LOOP for School of Rock finals plsplspslplspls! GO DARIO N AMOS N SARAH! yup ok. it was reeli reeli nice their song. kks anw i'll start from.... wed! we had srjcians' day on wed! so fun! but me n shawnn ponned e amazing race cuz we had 2 print out e pw survey zzzz... then after that we went to s'pore cancer society to survey. turns out wrong place =/.. then ben n shawnn went to kino while i went home cuz i reeli felt my time was wasted -.-... 2 hrs leh. anw yah then elaine n xinni were at national cancer center which was e right place so they did sth there rofl. thurs.... hmmm.. went to sch as usual.? i seriously can't rmb wad i did on thurs rofl. someone pls remind me if they rmb hahahah. fri i ponned chem prac. was a double titration thing. i m totally sick of titrations -_-... anw yeah then went home, checked if e others going out... ends up wl went home anw.. so i stoned at home again.. sat! went with gary cleavon harry and pehpeh to lan~~ we lanned cs dota.. me n pehpeh won 2v3! haha. then cs we were screwing arnd in fy poolday. FF was on lol... so like u see ppl tking once evry few rnds.. i was purposely tking at e end of each round haha. then got booted by server. twice. -_-"""" lolfl. today! went down wif e rest to j8 to support teh ETERNAL LOOP!!! omg their song composed by harry was v vv vvvv v nice! they got into finals so ppl plsplsplsplsplspls vote for themmmmmmmmmm. yah then ate with trowa, joined amish dings jong n chatted a while then zhaoed. skipped wet dreams 2 cuz i wasn't asked anw rofl. yah so now i'm quite stoned n bored cuz pehpeh not playing T_____T... n amish is using lancraft, deace can't host, dings is playing with amish... so i got totally bored once half e WoW server died.... yeap. that's one more boring week gone. gG? tehgo walked into the light @ 7/24/2005 10:37:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 LiStEninG tO: Kidou Senshi Gundam Z - Metamorphoze by Gackt i kinda like this song's beatttt. damn gosulatiing! anw left for home early 2day to try to finish up econs proj ppt. then cleared up sum stuff btwn me n her. i feel liberated! lolfl! anw yah i was damn happy also! hmmm.. ok. then i was helping pehpeh grind cuz i got bored hahahah. hmmmm.. then i joined walt in a run cuz he said to help. it was fun. except for some parts. i got totally pissed n frustrated i have to say this. THEY said such things cuz they wanted u to improve. instead, u quit. on us. THOSE THAT HELPED U ON UR WAY UP. u quit cuz of 1 guy's comments. U LEFT ON US. LEAVER. quitting cuz of someone slamming u isn't dignity. it's cowardice. to the lowest level. i've been there, done that, n faced it back. and u say that we suck. w/e man. n then u keep making it sound as if it's my fault. when i said nothing. fuck off man. i've been trying to mediate n all. if u're not happy, why run with us? why try to pull 2 ppl over to ur side? cuz u left n u feel that u needed us there anw? more than 90% of us wants u back but u wanna say, if that guy dun leave, u won't come back. we DON'T cater to 1 guy alone. we are who we are cuz we STICK TOGETHER THRU THICK AND THIN NO MATTER WHAT. bcuz wad makes us isn't one person. WE are DIEU. ok. that felt better. hahahah trowa is funny lolfl. and evry1 spoilt hp5 for me liao T_______T.. anw. yah so i did most of econs ppt liao... i hope it's ok. n i dun like having to do pw survey qns like now lolfl... mdm yeoh will kill me but oh wells. i got a new printer/scanner/photocopier! whee? now my com looks like an office table. zzzz. since when do i study here... ok anw. after having nice chats on sms n all, i feel totally high n happy! omg i've nvr felt higher in my life, not even when... ok i can't rmb aniting that has reeli made me high. i'm now so high nth can take me down. unless u all decide to leave me... then i'll feel crushed. like e snail i stepped on last nite T__T... it has brought me to e decision that i shud eat less meat. if a life can be ended in a step, one split second, why waste lives by eating meat. i fear nothing, except losing friends. but now. i'm still high lolfl! fun fun! i like dont have a care in teh world rofl! i'm bloody high!!! edit: ok i juz killed my happiness within the minute. i juz realised i haf 2 finish all my backlog + 6.1-6.5 of econs tys by 2mr. gged lolfl. nvm still happy = good good hahahahahahah tehgo walked into the light @ 7/19/2005 10:47:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Sunday, July 17, 2005 LiStEninG tO: Card Captor Sakura - Kocchi wo Muite hmmm... i sounded reeli down on tues.. ok i was la. anw~~ after a few sexilating n life-saving events, i feel totally high. tuesday marked e end of e days of downs atm. on wed me n shawnn went to watch F 4 while ponning sch. fun fun! then went home. thurs fri was boring. i thot i had 2 hand up all my late work by thurs. now is by this coming wed. i better listen to marian n do more work lolfl. anw. yea so i spent most of my time after sch WoWing, since a) my life is cut short by school ending at 5.30pm. b) cca is a must in srjc so no matter wad day it is i'm ending alwaes arnd 6. hmm.. so then pehpeh came over on sat =D it wuz v v v v v v v fun haha. no pehpeh = no life lolfl. anw.. yah so these few days cheered me up alot alot. thanks pehpeh n 1s02 =) esp pehpeh with all his funniness. i love pehpeh =) lolfl = lolling on e floor laffing? lol. n all e dotaers like sinchi dings cai all making my life better juz cuz they're there. thanks one n all. bcuz wifout u there won't b tehgo tehgo walked into the light @ 7/17/2005 09:29:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 LiStEninG tO: D.N.Angel - Futatsu no Negai (Full Version) notice how i blogged like 4 times in a row within a span of 20 mins. anw. i've juz seen like my prev posts of e year. n i realised this is e year when i've got e most downs n least ups =( i hope to b happy n cheery once again, get back up on my feet, start righting my path, n lastly, to find e lost innate ability to laugh sincerely. i also hope that i'll b with u guys soon. this is a depressing entry -_-... i'm gonna slp it off. like now =/ tehgo walked into the light @ 7/12/2005 10:55:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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ever wondered wad u would do if u could turn back time? n how far back would u go? or wad would u do? n how? i wish i could turn back time all e way to sec1. or earlier. i duno why. then again i dowan 2 change my path cuz i'll miss meeting all these wonderful ppl that have completely changed my life. like pehpeh, wl, marian, dings, trowa... hmmm esp trowa LOL, and a much longer list. but now? i totally hate this. i hate schooling. i hate school. fuck school. i wish i could do without it. i hate learning. i hate tests. i hate work. i hate listening. i hate evrything. i hate myself.. why did i screw up? when did i walk down e wrong path... e light in my life has gone out. i've lost all direction, and am juz a wondering soul. forever lost, lonely. i belong to evrywhere, and nowhere at e same time. if i'm gone, no1 will notice anw. i wish i could juz slp it away n escape. cowardice it is, but if u had e choice, wouldn't u do so too? i wish i could hide in WoW. or dota. or anithing. i wish i didn't have to face all this. but. decision's made. i've fucked up. big time. majorly. i'm so totally owned, even a divine intervention won't save me. i want to pull up my socks, but i'm collapsing juz trying to do so. all in all? i'm a failure, to my sch, my family, myself, n my friends. tehgo walked into the light @ 7/12/2005 10:47:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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tehgo walked into the light @ 7/12/2005 10:41:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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updating now loll.. finally found time cuz of maintenance in wow... shows how much life i have =/ anw yeah. i basically collapsed back home daily. go back bathe n like play com abit n go slp after chatting. i feel tempted to drop a sub. considering i have 3 Fs and a D7. dunno abt gp n econs yet. officially i'm quite screwed. i can't go out with e rest cuz i'm away like trowa. oh reminds me. hahahaha. trowa = forever sexy n gosu lol. chatting to him daily on smses is funny like gg. ya ok so. last wk was boring like fuck. i basically hung out with my classmates until sch ended. as in like, slacked rather than studied. i din survive any lectures. tutorials were barely listened to. i'm losing touch with my life. i need healing touch... anw. yah ok then sat we went to dota compy n lost in quarters. again. then some went to cai's hse for fun lol. n me maxwell n pehpeh stayed over. more or less me cai peh were dotaing on 1 com taking turns. while maxwell was BF2ing outside. oh some of us played bball outside. n cai's bball backboard is a shock absorber sia - -.. then me n peh played n evrything, even watched kangaroo jack, until 6 at cai's hse. then we went to eat at j8. i saw guanghao there too... n i felt that i still missed RI n j8 v badly. still. then we went home, i played n helped phoebe in WoW cuz she asked me to. slept at 1+ woke up for sch like a zombie next day. next day slept late again chatting. now i'm seeing my life collapse now cuz i've got F in chem, which i studied more than 1 wk in hols for, F in physex cuz i gosuly skipped a full qn 4 times i dunno how =/ could've gotten 6 marks there to get an AO.. then F in maths. or so my fren infers cuz he got an O. -_-... i'm dead n alone lol. gg no re. i feel jaded, sleepy, completely shut off from evry1. except my sr frenz cuz i see them daily. gg gl hf? i'll get to see less n less of evry1 n i feel sad cuz of that. bb. tehgo walked into the light @ 7/12/2005 10:17:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
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LAST PERSON WHO 1. Slept in your bed = -_-... me la. 2. Saw you cry = i shed tears cuz of nervousness when getting back o's results... so mebbe that counts as all e ri peeps ^^;; 3. Made you cry = has any1 ever? 4. You shared a drink with = pehpeh n dings at cai's place 5. Went to the movies with u = dun rmb liao. nvr go out long time wif e rest TT 6. Went to a mall with = pehpeh. after cai's place. 7. Yelled at you = my mom - - 8. Sent you an email = shawnn sending some bugged mail - - HAVE YOU EVER: 9. Said "I love you" and meant it = yes? 10. Gotten in a fight with your pet = no. i scold it but no. ^^ 11. Drank Alcohol = haven't we all. 12. Been to Hawaii = no zzzzz 13. Been to Mexico= no again zzzzzzzz 14. Danced naked= LOL no? 15. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day = no. 16. Wished you were the opposite sex = hmm. possibly... 17. Had an imaginary friend = no. 18. Gotten beaten up = no duh. DO YOU: 19. Smoke = no 20. Curse = ..... lol? 21. Sing well = no 22. Sing in the shower = nah 23. Talk to yourself = i'm not crazy yet. 24. Play an instrument = no... 25. Think you're a health freak? = i weigh 103+. go figure. 26. Get along with your parents = be seen but not heard. 27. Get along with your siblings?= sometimes. i get along wif my cousin well tho ^^ OTHER: 28. Worst feeling in the world = loneliness 29. Future number of kids and their names = haven't thot abt it yet. 30. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? = i hug my bolster haha. but i can die of asthma with my toys in my room lolx 31. What's under your bed? = evrything worth keeping n rmbing 32. Favorite sport to watch = soccerrr 33. Siblings = 2 older sis 34. Location = kovan. 35. College Plans = stop getting Fs T_T 36. Piercing/Tattoos= tattoo mebbe. piercings r gai lol 37. CD Player = long spoilt. i got a muvo2 tho 38. DVD player or VCR = i got both. one's phased out. e other is ksed by my sisters. no guesses which is which. 39. Pocket = wtf is this qn asking -_-... pocket? 40. Laundry basket = read above 41. Mouth = i choose my own mouth thx EXTRA STUFF: 42. Have you done drugs? = u think leh... 43. Who was your first best friend? = bryan lum! ^^ 45. What clothes do you sleep in? = tshirt shorts, tshirt longpants. i sleep in stuff i feel like slping in lor lol. jeans is not preferable... 46. Where do you want to be married? = does it reeli matter if u r with e one u love? 47. Who do you really hate? = hypocrites. backstabbers? 48. Do you drive? = Do you miss a leg? 49. Do you have a job? = nup 50. Do you like being around people? = if they're my frenz yes of course la ^__^ STUFF: 51. Do you have a kind of person you always go after? = i'm not saying. 52. Want something you don't have right now? = duh. duh. 53. Are you lonely right now? = yah. mebbe. bored more like -_____- 54. Song that's stuck in your head a lot = nth. as in. evrything. ahh fuckit 55. Do you want to be married? = yah 56. Do you want kids? = of course FAVOURITE: 57. Band = i guess i can't decide lol 58. Colors = white blue black yellow... i'm color blind or. 59. Perfume or colonge = yuck...zzz 60. Month = april =) or march ^^ IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU: 61. Cried = no 62. Bought something = duh. breaks = food, i bought books n other stuff. 63. Gotten Sick = i've been sick for a long time alr. 64. Sang = no. yes? no. i think not la ^^ 65. Told someone you loved them! = ya i love pehpeh =D 66. Missed someone = yah. evry1 in ac rj aj tp vj T_____T aus counts too 67. Hugged someone = my fren. yah. i can't rmb which one ^^ 68. Kissed someone = nope tehgo walked into the light @ 7/12/2005 09:59:00 pm -+-+-+-+- |
